What is the difference between having sex and having the best sex ever? What is great sex and how to have it? Read on to see how you can make it happen.
(1) Open your mouth
Being a great lover means becoming a great lover to your particular partner and this requires communicating what you want in bed. If she does something you like, let her know. If she does something you do not like, tell her what you want and how she can improve. This is supposed to be a 2-way talk. Therefore, also ask her what she likes. If you get to know yourself and your partner, you will have a much more erotic and satisfying sexual relationship.
(2) Ignore other guys’ exaggerations
Many guys often puff themselves up to their peers. Less likely than women to reveal their insecurities and most likely to exaggerate their past sexual conquests, men often paint distorted pictures of their sex lives to their friends. As a result, many guys develop the sense of inadequacy, feeling that something is missing in their sex lives because other men are having wilder or more frequent sex.
(3) Do not be misled by what you saw in porn
When you watch porn, you can get awe by the flawlessly formed men and women, their seemingly impeccable moves that can deliver screaming orgasms that seem to work on every partner. One of the most destructive myths of porn is that it convinces so many guys to think they are imperfect. They forget that pornography is self-selecting. Those actors are not the average men. They are at the extreme end of the scale. What you see in the porn is far from the reality because it is only meant to be exciting and entertaining.
(4) Focus on the pleasurable sensations
Stress is an enemy of great sex. So is performance anxiety. If your mind becomes fixated on the goal (such as to make a woman orgasm), you will tend to get overly concerned with every move and sex will get worse. Instead of enjoying, you will be too busy trying to figure out what should be your next best move.
The best way to overcome this and to distract you from this performance anxiety is to focus on your partner and how her body connects with your own. You get your mind to be attuned to the sensations and movements of your bodies. Your goal is to react instinctively and not plan anything. Just enjoy the process, take it easy and afford yourself some mistakes. The more you are able to let go and simply enjoy the act, the better the sex will be.
(5) Focus on all of her senses
Men are visual creatures and they can easily get aroused by looking at women’s breasts. However, women are multi-sensory. They like to experience sex with all of their senses (sight, smell, taste, touch and sound). By stimulating on the 5 senses, you can really get her in the mood.
While sexy body curve does entice her visually, so does the sound of a man’s voice during lovemaking. This can be dirty talk or sweet talking. The warm of your touch also matters a lot. You run your hands all over her body and spend more time on those areas that are hypersensitive to her. The easiest way to turn a woman on by touching is to give her a full body massage.
When a woman is attracted to a man, his scent will be stronger than other men’s scents. To stimulate her sense of smell, you can fill the room with warm, relaxing scents.
To stimulate her sense of taste, you can sensuously feed your woman strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate pudding and all of her other favorite foodstuff. You can run a honey-covered finger across her lower lip and watch how she licks it. This simulated act of fellatio can turn both of you on.
(6) Allow time for sex
Though this does not sound romantic, scheduling can make sex more relaxing. It can also eliminate conflict over desire differences. You can develop sensual rituals; make romantic gestures in anticipation of your encounter. You can give each other massage or take a shower together.